Are You Putting Too Much Pressure on Your Child's Football?

Most parents don't intentionally put pressure on their children.

They are trying to help.

I've experienced this myself as a football parent.

You know what your child is capable of, so when they aren't showing it, it's frustrating.

You give them advice.

You analyse the game.

You tell them what they could have done differently.

You arrange another training session.

Individually, none of those things necessarily seem bad.

But gradually, football can start feeling very different to the child.

Support can become pressure

Imagine playing a match knowing that afterwards your performance is going to be analysed.

Every mistake matters.

Whether you start matters.

How many minutes you play matters.

Whether you score matters.

Whether the academy wants you matters.

Now imagine dealing with all of that at 10 years old.

That's a lot.

In my parent guide I talk about how excessive focus on mistakes, results and ambitious expectations can increase anxiety and reduce enjoyment.

And ironically, putting more pressure on a player to perform can make performing harder.

One question I think every football parent should occasionally ask is:

“Who wants this more right now — me or my child?”

That doesn't mean we shouldn't challenge children.

We should.

It doesn't mean standards aren't important.

They are.

But there is a difference between supporting your child's development and feeling like we have to control every part of it.

Ultimately, football needs to remain their journey.

And sometimes the best thing we can do for their confidence is give some of that journey back to them.